my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
