I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The beer is more important than you right now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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