if you like me you must not know who I am
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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