The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
