she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
