Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
