um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I have post one night stand depression
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