I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
