U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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