dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just had sex bonerless
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
