I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
