Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If that was your dad, he is hot
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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