His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
