Non-Jews are for practice
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
