butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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