It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I want her autograph on my taint
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
