Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
