I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
