I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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