Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
