I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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