I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
