Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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