i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
