Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
