Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
