True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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