hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
