its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Green mimosas i think yes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
