I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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