was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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