ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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