well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize