what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
