I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
