i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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