Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my shit smells like andre
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
