Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
