Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
