just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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