A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
