just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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