put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I will be naked everywhere
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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