Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
