Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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