Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
