I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
