super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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