I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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