Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
