We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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