How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
