whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
