I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
